October Sky

There’s tears in my eyes
but you can’t see,
because they’re in the October sky

I’ve got dreams so fine
but daddy can’t see,
that they’re in the October sky

coal mining and rocket flying
one blows up, the other comes down
do I have the courage to stand my ground?
do I fight this fate or do I make my daddy proud?

October sky is so open for me
one day he will truly love me
he’ll look up and I’ll be there, somewhere high in the October sky

I want to soar high
even with this fear in me,
like the rocket in the October sky

I always have to try
even if no one understands me,
just like the rocket in the October sky

dirt shoveling and math puzzling
one makes you strong, the other one smart
can I find the answer to make up equal parts?
do I follow his footsteps, tell me, do I listen to my heart?

October sky is so open for me
one day daddy’s gonna truly love me
he’ll look-up and I’ll be there, up in the October sky

I got it in me to be somebody in this world full of greed
Only when I fly will I find all the help that I need

He taught me how to be the only kind of man I know
Others can have their stars, but in him I have a hero

October sky is so open for me
one day he will truly love me
when he looks up, I’ll be there, somewhere high in the October sky

Your Verve

Your verve takes on the shining of the moonlight that cuts through the mist of the darkness…
Were it not for my heart’s bliss, I know of no day that has been sent without your verve being evident, nor where it went…
So innocent by it’s very nature and is able to capture the barest essence of the situation to find such a rewarding solution with overt, yet simple communication…
Your verve meets the summation of my existence, meant to multiply; though others may try, wish to deny, and put inside of me doubt, I turn a deaf ear for fear has no place here…
It appears to take on the clarity of a winter’s day upon which the snow has already fallen on the ground and makes you see the snow-capped mountains just to question how could a simple wisdom be so beautiful…
Yes, your verve is meaningful, even being placed in the highest of orders with the first commandment being peace, it takes on the shining of the moonlight cutting through the mist of my darkness,
quickly…
urgently…
needfully…
becoming my heart’s bliss.

Scars: Behind the Mask

I wrote this song in September 2005 in one night. At the time, it was the most personal song I had written. I thought I would never top this writing. Then, I wrote Answers this year. This month I’ve finally written and produced the music track for Scars.

This song is a true to life story. Even now, thinking of what to write about stirs up many emotions – some unresolved, some accepted.

I was born with many medical problems that has left me with several physical scars. Whew! (Okay… I can do this…)

For 99% of my life, I’ve kept these scars hidden from the physical view. As a kid I avoided a lot of ridicule by being quiet, shy, and keeping to myself. I’ve never been an extroverted type of person, I have only learned through adulthood how important it is to speak up if/when you want to be heard. That lesson has helped me overcome my scars and forge forward into becoming a well balanced man.

Have you ever met a man too afraid to fall in love,
because of the scars that won’t disappear?
What’s life without someone special to be thinking of,
not the scars that are always here?

I guess the older you get, the more mature you become, and the less you care about what people think of you. When you realize all you truly have is Love for people and you can see that we all suffer some kind of pain, then you can begin to find the relevance and meaning of your experience. With that understanding, you can confidently share your experience with Love that can positively impact someone else’s life to move forward and grow.

Who hasn’t been afraid to fall in love these days, fearing the pain of a breakup, the trouble from “drama”, the disappointments of selfishness, and surrendering to the doubts? I’m trying to shift my focus, y’all, and stop being so guarded against chances to fall in love. I’m trying to enhance my other qualities like self-esteem, wit, maturity, knowledge, Spirituality, and my passion for music and writing. I fight to keep a balanced perspective of my physical body as just a “shell”, with scars, pimples, short height, baggy eyes, and my two gapped-teeth…HA!!!!!

Kids are influenced by everything they see
thinking that’s how they’re supposed to be
Mamas and papas teach your babies’ minds to be free
that’s how they’re supposed to be

For so many years, I’ve avoided taking pictures because I thought I’d never measure up to the perfect expectations. I was so locked into the media hyped-up value of image and lifestyle. Being so young and unaware, it is easy to want what you see “out” there because it’s not inside or around you. Thanks to technology and Photoshop we can all look flawless, photo-finished like in a magazine.

But, I don’t want that anymore. Still, people feed the contradictions by being distracted from a positive message because it doesn’t “look” right. How is positive supposed to look anyway? I thought being positive was about a feeling, a mentality.

We all have Scars, whether they are physical or emotional. All I can really do is hope that you will not deny or ignore your scars, but you instead reshape them in your mind to being those distinguishing marks that make up a beautiful You!

Thank you!

I’ll Be There

I’ll be there, I’ll endure what may come
Remain faithful in me and I’ll make it to your kingdom
I know some of my choices are wrong
  and sometimes my words may hurt
Can’t live a life without sin
  and to be good takes work

I’ll have a purpose, I’ll determine my destiny
Open closed doors and lay down steps before me
May question my meaning in this life
  and doubt when I know I should go
Won’t always be for sure
  and will falter along this narrow road

I’ll keep my head up, won’t give place to the devil
Keep your hands on me and I’ll reach that higher level
I know I want to be rich
  and famous among all mankind
Sacrifice all of that glory
  to keep the way you Love on my mind

I’ll be there,
while I anxiously await your return
I’ll continue to learn, you’ll stay my concern,
and no matter where I am, I know one day
I’ll be there

Broken Soul: A View on 3-D

The Universe will have restored Love to the people,
who will realize, actualize, and energize their Spirits,
putting comfort and strength back into our hearts
to mend all of our broken souls
and give us the dawn of a
new experience

I wrote Broken Soul back in July of this year 2007. I started with the first two stanzas, and put it away. As I was making music one day, what I had written came to my mind and I started reading the words over the music and the two just fit together. I kept reading the words to the music and worked it out. I just knew I had to finish writing the piece. It took me about a half-hour to write it all out. But, there’s so much more to this story…

This has been the biggest, most important spiritually awakening year of my life. But, more information only leads to more questions. Many of my life questions have been answered and many aspects have been brought into a unique, though alienating, perspective. Funny sometimes, when death taints your life, how you quickly come head on with all of your personally unresolved issues and unanswered questions. You are immediately forced to make lighting fast decisions, cut through the bull****, accept the realness of situations, and be firm in your actions. The older you are, the less tolerant you become with uneasiness because you are keenly aware that time is still going forward… with you or without you.

Bottomline, everything I’ve been told to “believe” in or have accepted on “faith” has been challenged to a outstandingly great degree. Listen, all the things I thought I knew I had answers for have all been turned upside down.

    I feel like I was spiritually led to discover information that has been so hard to accept. But, it has opened my spiritual eyes wide to understanding our existence on this 3rd dimension.

I don’t have anwsers, I have possiblities. I don’t have judgements, I have understanding. I don’t have faith, I have knowledge. I don’t have to believe, because my Spirit shows me everyday that I am Loved, that I am cared for, and that I am living my experience.

I could write a book explaining the deep inspiration behind this piece. Though I can intelligently explain everything I’ve written in this piece, I do not know that I am ready for the backlash from the readers. What I’m talking about goes beyond a David and Goliath story. I could trigger all kinds of warning alerts and alarms from explaining this piece in detail.

As if the very words weren’t enough already to turn some heads sideways, by writing about the experience of this piece could certainly serve to alienate me even more.

What I can tell you is that these days, the greater population of individuals in this world have been and are being pulled further and further away from their spiritual centers. I do think this is by design, yet very much out of our control. The contradictions, the confusion, the unjustice, the uncompassion are so embedded in our soceities and existence that we never need to question where it all comes from and why it is. We just accept it.

I do know that Love is Energetic-motion that vibrates through us all. Love is not doubled-sided. Love and hate (light and dark) can not, will not, has not ever existed in the same space. Yet, they are somehow twisted, braided within the realm of religion and government, in this 3rd dimension. Have you ever honestly thought, how could God’s Spirit Love and Hate at the same time? Are you really allowing yourself to think that could be a contradiction or are you saying that it is absolutely so because that’s what you’ve been taught since you could remember?

If you take away money supply, wouldn’t we still have our Spirits? Take away sin wouldn’t we still have our spirits?

I’m not saying I have the answers, just possiblities.

I know that if I can be open to discovering the information that leads to my on-going spiritual awakening and recover in confidence from what I find, then everyone else can and will too. Once our collective desire to spiritually awaken ourselves happens, then the time will be upon us to shift the totality of all our experience. That is when we will reclaim our spiritual connectedness and overcome these obstacles and ills of societies. With the help of Universal Love we can and will chase away the darkness, so that we suffer no more.

Thank you for reading! As always take what you will, and leave the rest to be still.

(Comments are always welcome!)

Personal Warrior

A desperate world, clouded in deception, just looking for its torn holes to be filled with bits of laughter, honesty, the truth, and some peace long forgotten. First, a Man of the Night. Second, a Man of the Day. A Personal Warrior, crusading as the substance to fill these holes, one by one, until he is called Home.

Infatuated with the skyscrapers, hypnotized by the night’s lights, lured by the shapes of the brilliant moon that draws the desolate people to come together and create a profound, undeniable energy known as the City. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. Mostly, a powerful positive driving force compelling the crusader to interact.

His distinguished brown layer of skin, his defined willow’s peak hairline, his naturally muscular torso, and his mature, bright smile dispels the darkness surrounded by the night. A fluid grace and a steady stride, even if high, determines his level of focus and character. Not perfect, but the imperfections make him so.

Cavalier. Caring. Charismatic. One conversation all night could fill the hole in a soul searching for a bit of laughter, honesty, the truth, and some peace long forgotten.
Possibilities abound and Love is in the air every time he’s around. Beauty. Elegance. Prestige. Honor. Respect. These are the goals set forth in his mind, with every note, every step, every smile, and every word he utters.

And there, lies, the discipline. There’s work to be done. Practice. Develop the art. Form. Deliver the performance. Focus. Demand the purpose be fulfilled.

The Personal Warrior has a job to do.

Kiss Your Lips

Can I kiss your lips for the rest of my lifetime?
Can I take you in my arms where you can stay mine?
All I want to do is come home to you
  and kiss your lips for the rest of my lifetime

If your man ever told you he’d never cheat on you
then lady, that’s a lie because it’s already on his mind
My father never did, so I wouldn’t do that to you
Guess that thought got lost some generations behind

I would never have to say it
I’m a man of my word and I obey it

Let me kiss your lips for the rest of my lifetime
Let me take you in my heart where you can stay mine
All I want to do is come home to you
  and kiss your lips for the rest of my lifetime

I love it when you laugh
  I love it when you get mad
     ’cause you want something better than you had

I’ll love you when you smile
  I’ll love you when you cry
      ’cause I know you have so many feelings inside

Will you let me kiss your lips for the rest of your lifetime?

I Feel Good

I feel good from the sex
  we had last night
And, when we make love,
  you take me to a new high
Feels good, when you strip me
  naked
You touch my thigh, and then you
  kiss it

We got the kind of love, others be lackin’

I feel good, with your life in mine
I feel good, building foundations outlasting these times
And, I feel good, so good…

I feel good when you come
  and you hug me
After a long day,
  your smile’s like a drug to me

See, I don’t need those pills the doctors keep prescribin’

And, I feel good with your life in mine
I feel good building foundations outlasting these times
And, I feel good, so good…

Trouble Sleeping

I been having trouble sleeping
too many lonely thoughts justa keeping
me up at night

I been having trouble sleeping
all kinda empty dreams are creeping
in my mind at night

Been having trouble sleeping
’cause nobody’s arms are holding me right

I been having trouble living my life
can’t seem to sing my song
to this cold world

I been having trouble living my life
so tired of being alone
in this cruel world

Been having trouble living my life
’cause nobody’s arms are gonna hold me tonight

Clipped Wings

Caged bird cries to be free, now you’ve seen that side of me.
A screaming, almost crying, pain that can no longer be retained.
Yet, it’s misplaced like the taste of honey on a lemon.
Tears drip fresh as the dew, and bleed through the heart of me…
and you.

Loneliness is getting out of hand,
making me do things I’m afraid others won’t understand.
Should I be convicted, deserve to be on lockdown?
Without a sound, or murmur, the Judge says yes on primitive grounds.
With Grace, I’ll save face, and beat the wrap in this case.
But, the cost strips away the coins from my soul.

Depletion grows and drastic choices take ahold, do I run forward or run away?
Do I defeat the negative energy or do I let it defeat me?

Clipped wings on an empty seat, a trail of heavenly feathers leading to the failed
triumph of me…leading to the glorious calling to surrender, or to uplift me?

Fear drives me scared, that you are there,
but I want more than you could ever hope to be.
Solemly I deny the control of this mentality to come into play.
Couldn’t this melancholy world sacrifice it’s self-determination to disavow
it’s condemnation of a soul like mine?
Do we have to be brothers and friends,
how about a whirlwind of never ending spirits in a unique, firey, forgiven
space and time?

I’m paralyzed, defragmented, entrapped in disarray because nothing makes sense.
I shuffle my feet like a distant memory seeking to be found
in the labryinth of desparation, desolation, and compulsion
in one playground of my mind-field.
There you are on the good ground, giving me your faith,
your friendship, your trust, among the on-slaught of
my terror, my anxiety, my hurt.

You’ve taken my life into yours and you are willing to protect it, respect it,
and juxtapose it. Don’t you know roses have thorns and clouds have rain?
When you touch them you feel their softness or their pain,
never knowing if what you felt was real or in vain.

But, there is no mystery in my emotions about you, a treasure been longing to find,
willing to last through this lifetime…
whether standing by sides in each others presence
or if we have to make the miles fade away and communicate through heaven.

Caged bird stands unpearched among it’s mess of fear and unknowing,
perhaps knocked off by an unyielding evil force
or wounded to rest before it must sit on it’s perch again to continue the cries
for freedom.

Just like the caged bird waits on time to bring change,
I live these days wanting the same.

All of this is to say… thank you.